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By 12:10 PM

    I haven't written lately for a multitude of reasons, number one being that I have been insanely busy for the past couple of weeks. I am writing now because I've been blessed with an extra hour and a half in between classes; thank you Professor Linton... Anyway I've been struggling quite a lot, emotionally and physically. Here's why.

     In high school, I don't feel as if I did the best that I could have. It's not even really that I didn't study enough or spent too much time doing extracurriculars; I've always heard people say "high school just isn't for everyone" but I didn't understand that until I got to college. I find that now, having classes on different days and being able to manage my time according to different class times and activities helps me so much in every aspect. However, it's easy to get carried away and spend all of the extra time with your nose in a book instead of investing critical time in the most important book there is, The Bible.

     At first when I got to UNA, I was so conscious of my time spent with Jesus and I had an allotted time set aside every day. Pretty soon after we started digging deep into our classes, I started to spend less time in the Word and I began to see the affect it was having on my life. I started to be more judging of the people around me who don't necessarily make the same decisions as me, and that's never okay. He loves us and calls us to love each and every one of our brothers and sisters. In 1 John 4:7, John says "The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love- so you cannot know Him if you do not love." I am called to love the ones who don't love me, because His light shines through me.

      I also started to be depressed and anxious about everything. I cried a lot, I didn't always want to be around people (which is not always a bad thing), and my attitude towards the world was skewed. I wasn't acting like the godly woman that I should have been. Alan Tate, the youth pastor at a local church in Florence said this past week at The Well, "When you're concerned with doing nothing but the minimum, you'll receive nothing but the minimum." Because I hadn't been seeking god reverently and efficiently, He was reminding me throughout my days that I needed to get back in line.



     I didn't fully realize this truth until last night at my baby squirrel meeting. (For those of you that don't know this already, I pledged Alpha Gamma Delta on September 1st and I'm so incredibly excited about all my new sisters!) It was late and I was getting grumpy as I always do when it's time for my beauty sleep, and I honestly just wanted to go home and hide under my covers and sleep until next week. Then we took prayer requests. My mind was completely blown at my beautiful pledge sisters and the problems that they had never mentioned before; I had no idea how broken they were. That's when I realized that we all need each other and we all need Jesus. No matter how big or small our problems are, Jesus cares about each and every one of them. So when I'm having a bad day and I feel like the world is against me, He's not. It's so cool to always have someone there, someone to talk to. When the world is tearing me down, He builds me right back up. And it's crazy to think we often forget about that.


      So there it is: I'm thankful for the bad days that I have experienced in the past few weeks, because they reminded me of what is truly important in my life and that God is with me. Peace in my heart isn't possible without Him. I failed to recognize all of the wonderful things he's given me so far in my college life... a beautiful campus and city to explore, the fact that I get to even go to college at all, my wonderful family and my boyfriend's family that I think of like my own, my boyfriend himself. And possibly the most important for me right now, the people I've surrounded myself with. My big, Noelle, is such an amazing influence on me and I'm thankful to have such a beautiful person to look up to for the next three years. I've met a new friend in AGD named Kylie and I love her so much I'm not even really sure how to explain it in words. We're just alike and share the same moral values, we're completely honest with each other, and the best part of all: we have a common devotion for our Lord. My friend Eric who I graciously met at our orientation over the summer who is literally the male version of me and quite a bit of a diva, and his love for God is so evident. It's good to share a friendship with someone so relatable. My new pastor, Kevin Johnson, who is on fire for God and never fails to preach just what I need to hear. My new sisters who I can't wait to get to know. All of this plus the people who I love back home... I'm overwhelmed with what God is currently doing for me! Remember to soak up all of the great things in your lives.



     Studying is important and friends are important, but none of that matters without God. Take care of yourself, spend time with God, and grace will follow.
"Don't fret or worry; instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6-7




     He is bigger than my hurt feelings; he is bigger than my bad days. He's bigger than my worst fears and my negative thoughts. God is greater than the highs and the lows.

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