You might be lonely, but you are never alone.
I've experienced something since started college that I have never felt so heavily in my heart before, and that is loneliness. I think every student or young person can vouch for me here. Often I feel lonely even when I'm surrounded by people. I'm usually a very independent person, but sometimes being alone gets the best of me. Most of the time when I'm feeling lonely, it stems from jealousy and results in feeling lost and insecure, neither of which are the best kinds of feelings. I thought to write this post days ago, but I kept pushing the idea out of my head. But tonight after an amazing time with Elevation Worship with some of my friends, I realized that there are other people who get just as lonely, if not lonelier, than I do. So here I sit at 4 o clock in the middle of the night writing a post for whoever may stumble upon it.
Now don't get me wrong- I have a group of beautiful friends who lift me up at most times. But they are only human. They fall just like the rest of us, and there is an emptiness in my heart that they cannot satisfy.
I truly believe that my generation has some deeply rooted issues with social media. We forget that we only see the cookie cutter wonderful parts of people's lives. Everyone has the bad parts but we push them aside because no one is going to post that on Instagram for the world to see. Everyone will post when they're having coffee with their friends, or having fun on a weekend get away... but what about when they're sitting in solitude on a Saturday morning, with only their thoughts keeping them company? (That doesn't sound too bad, now that I think about it...) What about the time that all of their friends went out and forgot to invite them? You didn't have a post to keep you updated on that, did you? This, my friends, results in too many misconceptions of people's lives.
My loneliness is a warning to myself that I am seeking satisfaction in all of the wrong places. How can I possibly feel lonely when the spirit of the lord lives in me? My contentment should never be based on whether I feel welcomed by my friends or anything on this earth for that matter. My worth comes from him and solely him, although I often forget that. Theodore Roosevelt said that comparison is the thief of joy, and the man knew what he was talking about. Most of the time my feeling of alienation stems from seeing other people with their friends and wishing that I had that; comparing myself to them... which is toxic and- trust me- I am aware of that.
So what does the bible say about loneliness? Psalms 68 says God is a father to the fatherless, defends widows, sets free the lonely, leads prisoners out singing. How raw and beautiful is the picture God paints for us here in verses 5 and 6! The Lord rewards those who praise Him and pine after Him, even the sinners. They prosper because He loves them and he wants the world for them- and he wants it for you too! But the most wonderful part of all is verse 5 "is God in holy habitation". God doesn't just dwell among his people, but rather makes a home in each of our hearts. He resides within every single one of us; he abides in us. Abide: to endure without yielding, to bear patiently, to persist, to stay. But the best definition to me is "to continue without fading or being lost". What a perfect representation of what God's unstoppable love is. And to think that's what we hold in our hearts! It is extraordinary and so unbelievable that a God we are completely unworthy of never leaves our side. His capacity to love is otherworldly and is something that we can only experience through Him. I don't know about you, but that takes my breath away.
So what can I do to combat the strain on my relationship with Christ that is loneliness?
Eat a lot of food. I'm TOTALLY kidding right now, that is not the best thing to do but if you happen to do that I suggest pizza rolls. ;)
• PRAY •
No matter what's going on, praying will make
your situation better. Angry? Pray. Confused? Pray. Anxious? Pray. Peaceful? Pray, and thank God for every blessing he has given you! Nothing will bring you unbridled joy like giving thanks and simply talking to Him. God is ultimately the best listener- when your friends won't, He will.
• INITIATE •
If your friend didn't start the conversation, you can initiate it. Some of us aren't the best at this, it's true. I hold myself back a lot because I feel like I'm being annoying. Chances are, your friend will hang out with you and if they don't you can't say you didn't try.
• POSITIVITY •
You have to stay positive. Negative thoughts come from Satan and can only make things worse. Make the most out of your time alone. Take a nap, watch Friends, paint your nails. Let God consume your mind with the positive thoughts so there is no room for the negative.
• COUNTERACT •
I always counteract my thoughts with bible verses. This applies to anything ungodly that may run through my head. Here are a few about being lonely:
Not only in the duration of our lives; he was, is, and always will be with us. The ultimate comfort.
him in our hearts the void will be never ending.
Being in a period of waiting is good for you. It's a normal human experience, and God won't leave you alone to bear it. You might be lonely, but you are never alone.
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