getting more comfortable being uncomfortable
“I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can.” -Kristen Armstrong
I love talking people and getting to know them, but going up to someone completely random and just starting a conversation with them can be intimidating for anyone. I realize that I'm about to have to do quite a lot of that, as I leave for college on Friday. But something even harder for me is going up to a stranger and telling them about God. I love talking about God and my testimony, but the thought that the person could be of another religion or an atheist scares me because then I know what comes next. But the point of sharing our faith isn't to immediately help someone be saved, it's to make them question what they believe in and why they believe it. Why am I so scared of rejection when I have a courageous, just, amazing God? I have no idea. Human flaw, I suppose.
I've started to enjoy going out of my comfort zone. I always feel accomplished afterwards, and nothing is more rewarding than knowing you've positively affected someone. I just think of when people have stepped out of their way to say something nice or meaningful to me, I can't get it off my mind. To think that I could do that to someone is kind of incredible. And if they make fun of me or mock my faith, that's fine. What do I care? That just makes me more eager to try and get to their heart. I'm a pretty stubborn girl if you didn't realize.
On mother's day, a man was seated in the atrium of our church, and he introduced himself to me as I walked by. He poured out his heart to me, sharing his life story. He told me his wife died months ago and this was the first mothers day he had experienced without her, and I told him how difficult that must have been. He proceeded to tell me that he was a war veteran and an ex convict. This struck my heart, that this wonderful Godly man could have ever been in prison. I often think of this man and wonder about his life.
Yesterday I ran by Zaxby's with Carson and as we were waiting on our food, I saw the man! After we finished our food I decided to go up and speak to him. I told him that I thought about him a lot, and prayed for him. The next thirty minutes were filled with war and prison stories, the man's eyes shining, so obviously excited to be visiting with us. He told us that he was going to go to a local market, but for some reason he just went to Zaxby's instead, and now he knows why. He said it was because Carson and I were going to be there. His smile and his words were so inspiring, and I am truly amazed at just how on fire for God this 82 year old man is. He's not afraid of talking to anyone, and you can tell that people are moved while talking to him. There were two police officers sitting down eating and when they got up to leave, he waved bye to them and said "I love you guys, I appreciate all that you do".
He told us that after his wife died his daughter wanted to move him into assisted living, and when he got there he realized he was in much better condition that most of the people there. He said, "All of these people have alzheimers and don't know where they are... They're not like me." And don't you know there's a perfectly good reason why he's in that place? He knows it.
The man's name is Jimmy Simms, and he has a book about his life. He carries around the cards just to give to people to share his testimony. His grin filled up his face telling us about how he'd been asked to talk about it on the radio and how his book has a place on the shelf in a Christian bookstore in our town. When we told him what a big accomplishment that was, he said "I'm not the celebrity; Jesus Christ is the celebrity". Jimmy told us about he gave some of the women at a restaurant his card, and the owner told him that he couldn't do that. When he asked why, the owner said that the women were too busy. Jimmy said, "Why, they're not so busy that I can't give them my card and tell them Jesus loves them." And the owner said "Well, I guess not..."
This morning I decided to look up his book and discovered that there is so much more to his story than the little bits and pieces he has told me. This was the book's description on a website:
After reading this, I'm speechless. He seemingly has no reason to live, but because he has God he is one of the happiest and good hearted people I've ever met. Although he is an ex convict, he's at peace with himself because he has been forgiven. He mentioned that no matter how big or how small your sins are, they are all the same. We forget this, or at least I know I do. I am so quick to judge but most of the time there is a whole backstory that we know nothing of. Jimmy knows that he has a purpose, and he knows what purpose that is. He's not afraid to share his story and he's certainly not afraid to share the gospel.
So whenever I'm afraid to go up to someone and tell them about my Savior I'm going to remember Jimmy, the war vet and ex convict, who just so happens to be one of the most beautiful souls I've ever known.
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